How to write effectively (1)

Rem tene, verba sequentur – Grab the thing and the words will follow (Cato).

My point is that you need to say what you want to say as quickly as possible. Each sentence creates a little world, and when you write one, the reader enters that world and will immediately develop certain expectations.

Let me use a random object on my desk to illustrate my point.

My watch is cheap.

Where are we going with this sentence? I would suggest that we are moving in the direction of saying something about me. I am the sort of person who buys a cheap watch, or perhaps I am uncomfortably conscious that my watch is cheap, whereas other people have watches that are nicer and  more expensive. In short, the sentence indicates that you, the reader, will learn something about me and my opinion not just  on watches but also on  value, money and my economic standing. It is unlikely that what follows will be all about watches.  Just by attributing the  adjective “cheap” to watch, I have shown you something about my state of mind. This is about watches, sure, but it is also about how I feel. Had I written My watch is expensive, the effect would have been similar, but with a shift in emphasis. Even so, either sentence tells you that I will in some way be talking about myself and my values.

My watch loses 5 minutes a day.

Perhaps I am planning to talk about time; perhaps I am going to talk about always being late; perhaps I am going to talk about lateness as a concept. It may even be that I am going to talk about the very idea of time as an intangible concept. It depends on what follows, but the indication so far is that I may be less concerned with talking about myself than in the first example.

A watch is a portable timepiece.

Here I seem to be about to launch into a discussion on the function of watches, and maybe talk about their history. I seem concerned to set up definitions – this essay  could be all about defining things, not just about  watches.

Watches are for telling the time.

I have pluralized “watch” to make a very general statement about watches in general.  This is like one of those panning shots at the opening of a movie where you see an aerial shot of New York, then a building, then a room and then finally a character. It starts off generally and is likely to become more specific.

I don’t know what the make of my watch is.

Already I am striking an attitude.  Once more, I am likely to be talking about myself and my opinions. If I don’t know what make it is, then either I do not have it to hand (otherwise all I have to do is look at it), or I keen to let you know that branding  is not the sort of thing that is important to me. It may be that I have a watch without any brand name visible on it. Again, this says something about me and my choices.

My watch is made by Daniel Wellington.

 Here I may be about to give you a technical description of the watches made by this company. You might reasonably expect some  sort of comparison to be made with other watchmakers and brands. Maybe I am deliberately or accidentally putting you in an uncomfortable position (You mean to say you’ve never heard of Daniel Wellington, you pleb? Have you been living under a rock or something?).  I may have antagonized the reader immediately. Or perhaps Daniel Wellington is synonymous with cheapness – you might rather feel sorry for me, not annoyed by me.

My watch has a brown leather strap.

Possibly, we are going to be discussion style, comfort, or  materials. We might even be discussing the use of animal products (leather).

My watch has a white dial.

This is quite vivid. It conjures up an immediate image in the reader’s mind. Why would I want to do this? I am probably seeking some sort of contrast (with watches that have a black dial, with digital watches, with the blue shirt I am wearing). It is highly specific. It is also potentially interesting, since the reader wonders why you decided to give out that particular piece of information.

My watch is broken.

Is this going to be about me, the sort of person who breaks things, or about the way manufactures sell us things that break as soon as we get them? Is it going to be a discourse about why I am late, or a reflection on disappointment? All these are possible.

The first functional portable timepiece, or chronometer, was made by John Harrison in 1774.

Clearly, this is a historical and factual sentence. We would expect more facts to follow.

I hate my watch.

Again, this is going to be about me. The next sentences should tell us whether I hate this watch in particular, or whether I hate the idea of timekeeping and punctuality.

I bought a new watch yesterday.

Why did I do this? Was it my first ever watch or does that “new” imply that I had one before this one? Perhaps the discourse is going to veer off from watches altogether, and the real important point is that I am buying things, or that yesterday I was out and about.  

Nobody really needs a watch nowadays.

Because we all have cell phones. Watches are archaic, and their real purpose is fashion, not function. This is a generic opening, and the likelihood is that your discourse will be about social norms, the modern world, technology etc.

A stopped watch is right twice a day.

This is a tired cliché, but never mind.  The odds are you will not be writing about watches but rather about people, opinions, random choice, probability, or  politics.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen

This is the opening line to George Orwell’s novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.  It gives time and place in a rather conventional way, but that “striking thirteen” stops you in your tracks (don’t clocks strike up to twelve, then start over again at one?). We know at once that something is wrong. The simple sentence has created a little world in which something is not quite right.

As you can see, even the simplest sentence sets up a series of expectations for the reader, and not every sentence has the same function.  The secret to good writing? Say it simply, say it at once, and then consider whether the sentence has created the right environment for your discourse.