Overly, thusly, muchly

Strunk and White put it best. Using  overly or  the other two in place of over, thus and much is like putting a hat on a horse, i.e. unnecessary and silly. The second two  have, mercifully, more or less died out of common use, but overly has survived. Help kill it.

Essay verbs

Academic vocabulary 

Unfortunately, both your textbooks and you seem to be rather too much in love with the verb “to state” as being the best means of referring to a comment or passage by another writer. But we have plenty of more incisive alternatives. When a writer presents an argument, and you reference it, you might say that the author (whom I here designate as male):  

Accepts  ---- Here you may be in disagreement with the writer, and about to make a point that challenges his belief, or you are observing that the author is agreeing to some fact with which he is not entirely happy, but knows he cannot change. 

Advances the idea that  ---- The writer has proposed something; put an idea on the table. 

Advocates  ---- The writer, like a lawyer or campaigner, favors a particular approach. 

Affirms  ---- The implication is you share the belief. 

Alleges  ---- Use if you are very doubtful or skeptical of his claims. 

Allows  ---- Here the writer is conceding a point, admitting an exception, permitting something that may run counter to his argument.

Announces  ---- The writer has made a statement that is in some way introductory to a point – just as one might announce an event before it takes place.

Argues  ----  The writer has constructed a thesis, made a point, presented a reasoned argument and is trying to persuade us. 

Asserts  ---- The writer states his position forcefully – your use of this word implies a certain distancing of your own view from his. 

Attests (to the view that, to the truth of the fact)  ---- The writer is speaking from personal experience, and is somehow a witness to the point he is making. 

Avows   ---- Use if the writer said whatever he said in a rather solemn spirit of conviction and belief. 

Claims  ---- The writer is saying this, but, as with allege (q.v.), you are standing back and not necessarily accepting his view. 

Concedes  ---- Like allows (q.v.), but with an even stronger sense that a contradiction has been detected and acknowledged. 

Confirms  ---- You are putting yourself on the same side as the writer and suggesting that what he says was essentially a restatement of something that is already true.

  

Contends  ---- Fancy and more forceful word for argues (q.v.), with a hint of a continuing debate in which one position is contrasted with another.  

Conveys the idea, message, notion that...  ---- Best used if the writer has succeeded in presenting an idea through descriptive or allusive language. 

Declares   ---- Use if he is making a statement with “political” or rhetorical intent. 

Demonstrates  ---- Like shows (q.v.), but the notion that something has been scientifically or logically proved is even stronger. 

Divulges/reveals  ---- Use when what the writer has said is news to you, or, at any rate, is intended by the writer to represent a discovery for whoever is reading. 

Endorses the view/idea that  ---- The writer is willing to sign off on or back an idea (which you are now about to state). 

Explains  ---- Simple enough; best to restrict your use of it to when you are essentially in agreement with his point. 

Highlights  ---- A stronger version of points out (q.v.): the writer takes one element of his argument and gives it precedence. 

Indicates  ---- Interesting word: can mean either to point out (q.v.), in which case the writer may have an instance or example in mind and has put his finger on it; or to suggest (q.v.), in which case the writer is indirectly alluding to or pointing a finger in the general direction of a concept. 

Insists  ---- He is reiterating a point already made, or is sticking to a position already implicitly or explicitly articulated. 

Maintains  ---- Like argues (q.v.),but with the implication that this is a belief personally held by the writer,to which he is more attached than if he were merely arguing it. 

Mentions  ---- Use this when you isolate one point or example from several that the writer has provided.

Notes  ---- Not as neutral as it sounds. If you say a writer notes something, then you and he are accepting that that which was noted is true and merely needed pointing out. 

Points out  ---- Like notes (q.v.), in that you and he both accept the fact at face-value. It also conveys the idea of selecting one element as being of particular importance. 

Proclaims  ---- A strong word, to be used sparingly. It refers to a public announcement of a belief.A Republic is proclaimed, as is the Second Coming of Christ. 

Professes  ---- The only thing you really profess is a belief ----  not an idea. 

Promulgates an idea, theory  ---- The writer is setting out some sort of belief and hoping that it will be widely taken up. 

Proposes  ---- Like advances (q.v.),except the writer has given a more definitive or formal structure to the idea being put forward.

Propounds  ---- Like promulgate (q.v.),except the writer is perhaps less anxious for the idea to be taken up as a popular cause. 

Puts forward the idea that   ---- Like advance and propose (q.v.). 

Recites (the reasons, causes, facts, arguments)  ---- Hard to use correctly – usually this will refer to a list, whether explicitly or implicitly referred to Often one recites words or beliefs learned by heart, and the verb carries the idea of something a little dull or self-evident that is being repeated. 

. 

Reports  ---- Limit this to where the writer is“bringing back”information from somewhere, like a journalist on the front line, or a financial analyst who has examined the books and is now presenting his findings. 

Reveals  ---- Only use this if there is some sort of ta-da! unveiling of a point in what the writer has said.  

Says   ---- A pretty neutral word, nothing at all wrong with it, and usually to be preferred to states.

Sets forth the notion, idea, arguments  ---- Arranges the arguments in an orderly manner, much as a stall-owner might set out his wares for display. 

Shows  ---- The statement is backed by some sort of evidence or proof of its veracity.

States  ---- Give this dull word a rest. 

Stresses  ---- Please use this only to isolate one aspect of what the writer has said. 

Suggests  ----  Either (i)  the author was tentative in saying it, or, (ii) you are drawing a conclusion that the author may not have explicitly stated. If used with should (iii) it is often used to indicate that the writer has offered advice - The author suggests that sugar should be treated as if it were a toxic drug.

Underlines/underscores  ---- Like stresses (q.v.). Italian students, please do not use this as if it were synonymous with “says” or “states”. 

Voices the idea that  ---- The writer is acting as spokesman for a pre-existing idea held by others. Similar to advocates. 

Please be aware that the verbs below cannot stand on their own before a noun clause; they require a direct or oblique object. 

Inform – The essay informs us about how the cargo cult culture of the Easter Islands developed.... 

Tell – By showing how a young man can be corrupted by influence writer tells us that societal norms... 

Apprise – In his examination of the individual, Larry Siedentop apprises us of several interesting facts about early Christianity... 

Advise – This is often used without an object, but it is better with one. He advises people to avoid... NOT He advises to avoid.... 

Using I (the first person) in your essays

Some teachers will tell you not to use "I" in your essays, others will be more forgiving.

I am one of the more forgiving ones, but only up to a point.

If you have another teacher who says not to use "I", then don't. Simple. The practice of not using the first person will do you the world of good.

For me, the problem has to do with the intrusion of your voice in an essay. If you are trying to write convincingly, then the reader should be placed under the impression that what she is reading is objectively true.

If you include the pronoun "I", you are reminding the reader that your words are merely a matter of subjective opinion, which will tend to undermine the persuasive power of your scintillating prose.

Even if you have one of those lackadaisical teachers who winks at the occasional appearance of "I", you must never in any circumstance have recourse to phrases such as in my opinion, or I believe, or I think.

If I am reading your paper, I know already that this is what you think; I know it is your opinion (whose else's would it be?)

I do allow and even encourage the use of the first person plural "we", which is both a welcoming and a usefully ambiguous word that may mean "you the reader and I the writer" or "we humans in general" or even "those of us on this side of the argument".

Not all professors or readers like the use of "we", so, as always, remember who you are writing for. 

comma + -ing

Comma-participle construction

This is a difficult one to explain, mainly because what I am trying to correct is less an error than an infelicity of style.

First, look at the following sentences: all of them are correct.

The new law enables private drivers to pick up passengers and charge them fares, allowing ordinary people to work as taxi drivers.

With our new-formula  grime-busting spray, you can clean your house top to bottom in just 14 hours, leaving yourself plenty of time for the important things in your life, such as cooking, shopping and even sleeping!

With a rising number of migrants on its borders, Europe is adopting weak policies, leaving itself vulnerable to accusations of complacency.

Giving up bad habits actually drains your mental resources, rendering you less able to focus your energies on the really important things such as English grammar.

The team played defensively throughout the first half, refusing to take any risks.

My students looked bewildered, upset and confused, giving the strong impression that they were unaccountably uninterested in sentence structure.

Mario stopped typing, deleted his half-finished essay, left the library, the University and the country, swearing never to return.


All I am asking of you is to consider a different, plainer and more direct construction that uses and plus a finite verb rather than the comma-present participle solution marked in bold type above.

Why? Because a finite verb is immediately clear: it is more concrete and creates a greater sense of balance or "parallelism" in the sentence by echoing the finite verb that is to be found in the first part.

You could therefore profitably rewrite the sentences above as follows:

  
The new law enables private  drivers to pick up passengers and charge them fares, and allows ordinary people to work as taxi drivers.

With our new-formula  grime-busting spray, you can clean your house top to bottom in just 14 hours, and leave yourself plenty of time for the important things in your life, such as cooking, shopping and even sleeping!

With a rising number of migrants on its borders, Europe is adopting weak policies, and is leaving itself vulnerable to accusations of complacency.

Giving up bad habits actually drains your mental resources, and renders you less able to focus your energies on the really important things such as English grammar.

The team played defensively through the first half, and refused to take any risks.

My students looked bewildered, upset and confused, and gave the strong impression that they were unaccountably uninterested in sentence structure.

Mario stopped typing, deleted his half-finished essay, left the library, the University and the country, and swore never to return.

I maintain that the second set of sentences is better, but you do not necessarily have to agree. More important is that you remain aware of the second construction when you are writing, and make use of it from time to time. 

State

Not only is the verb to state overused, it is often misused. Personally, I find it the dullest word in the English language, rivaled only by "nice" and "awsome".

A statement is what you give the police. It has connotations of an official declaration. Please do not say that a writer "states" something merely because he has said it, or mentioned it. You state a belief, a position. I would prefer never again  to see this word in an essay.

Try some other verbs. I have listed several under the post titled Essay verbs.

The fact that

Nine times out of ten, the fact that is best replaced by the word that only.  The phrase the fact that is cumbersome, sometimes self-important and almost always gives the impression that the writer is still reaching for an idea rather than delivering one. 

Example

Philosophers agree on the fact that humans are social beings --etc; Philosophers agree that humans are social beings. (Well, some of you are).

How to write effectively (1)

Rem tene, verba sequentur – Grab the thing and the words will follow (Cato).

My point is that you need to say what you want to say as quickly as possible. Each sentence creates a little world, and when you write one, the reader enters that world and will immediately develop certain expectations.

Let me use a random object on my desk to illustrate my point.

My watch is cheap.

Where are we going with this sentence? I would suggest that we are moving in the direction of saying something about me. I am the sort of person who buys a cheap watch, or perhaps I am uncomfortably conscious that my watch is cheap, whereas other people have watches that are nicer and  more expensive. In short, the sentence indicates that you, the reader, will learn something about me and my opinion not just  on watches but also on  value, money and my economic standing. It is unlikely that what follows will be all about watches.  Just by attributing the  adjective “cheap” to watch, I have shown you something about my state of mind. This is about watches, sure, but it is also about how I feel. Had I written My watch is expensive, the effect would have been similar, but with a shift in emphasis. Even so, either sentence tells you that I will in some way be talking about myself and my values.

My watch loses 5 minutes a day.

Perhaps I am planning to talk about time; perhaps I am going to talk about always being late; perhaps I am going to talk about lateness as a concept. It may even be that I am going to talk about the very idea of time as an intangible concept. It depends on what follows, but the indication so far is that I may be less concerned with talking about myself than in the first example.

A watch is a portable timepiece.

Here I seem to be about to launch into a discussion on the function of watches, and maybe talk about their history. I seem concerned to set up definitions – this essay  could be all about defining things, not just about  watches.

Watches are for telling the time.

I have pluralized “watch” to make a very general statement about watches in general.  This is like one of those panning shots at the opening of a movie where you see an aerial shot of New York, then a building, then a room and then finally a character. It starts off generally and is likely to become more specific.

I don’t know what the make of my watch is.

Already I am striking an attitude.  Once more, I am likely to be talking about myself and my opinions. If I don’t know what make it is, then either I do not have it to hand (otherwise all I have to do is look at it), or I keen to let you know that branding  is not the sort of thing that is important to me. It may be that I have a watch without any brand name visible on it. Again, this says something about me and my choices.

My watch is made by Daniel Wellington.

 Here I may be about to give you a technical description of the watches made by this company. You might reasonably expect some  sort of comparison to be made with other watchmakers and brands. Maybe I am deliberately or accidentally putting you in an uncomfortable position (You mean to say you’ve never heard of Daniel Wellington, you pleb? Have you been living under a rock or something?).  I may have antagonized the reader immediately. Or perhaps Daniel Wellington is synonymous with cheapness – you might rather feel sorry for me, not annoyed by me.

My watch has a brown leather strap.

Possibly, we are going to be discussion style, comfort, or  materials. We might even be discussing the use of animal products (leather).

My watch has a white dial.

This is quite vivid. It conjures up an immediate image in the reader’s mind. Why would I want to do this? I am probably seeking some sort of contrast (with watches that have a black dial, with digital watches, with the blue shirt I am wearing). It is highly specific. It is also potentially interesting, since the reader wonders why you decided to give out that particular piece of information.

My watch is broken.

Is this going to be about me, the sort of person who breaks things, or about the way manufactures sell us things that break as soon as we get them? Is it going to be a discourse about why I am late, or a reflection on disappointment? All these are possible.

The first functional portable timepiece, or chronometer, was made by John Harrison in 1774.

Clearly, this is a historical and factual sentence. We would expect more facts to follow.

I hate my watch.

Again, this is going to be about me. The next sentences should tell us whether I hate this watch in particular, or whether I hate the idea of timekeeping and punctuality.

I bought a new watch yesterday.

Why did I do this? Was it my first ever watch or does that “new” imply that I had one before this one? Perhaps the discourse is going to veer off from watches altogether, and the real important point is that I am buying things, or that yesterday I was out and about.  

Nobody really needs a watch nowadays.

Because we all have cell phones. Watches are archaic, and their real purpose is fashion, not function. This is a generic opening, and the likelihood is that your discourse will be about social norms, the modern world, technology etc.

A stopped watch is right twice a day.

This is a tired cliché, but never mind.  The odds are you will not be writing about watches but rather about people, opinions, random choice, probability, or  politics.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen

This is the opening line to George Orwell’s novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.  It gives time and place in a rather conventional way, but that “striking thirteen” stops you in your tracks (don’t clocks strike up to twelve, then start over again at one?). We know at once that something is wrong. The simple sentence has created a little world in which something is not quite right.

As you can see, even the simplest sentence sets up a series of expectations for the reader, and not every sentence has the same function.  The secret to good writing? Say it simply, say it at once, and then consider whether the sentence has created the right environment for your discourse.

As regarding

This phrase does not exist. It is wrong. It is a foul abomination. It is as bad as, nay, worse than, as concerns, which also does not exist. 

Avoid on pain of ridicule.

Redundant words - pleonasm or tautology

A redundant word or phrase is sometimes referred to as a pleonasm or a tautology. I am less interested in the technical term than I am in suppressing the habit, even if it is sometimes good for a laugh while I'm correcting your work.

The world is full of examples, so here are some at random:

The teacher failed to notice the  dead corpse of the student  turning green in the front row  (as opposed to the live one? Get rid of the word dead)

He could potentially become a great singer (Could already means potentially)

She crawled on all fours (Yup, that's basically how you crawl)

He turned the volume down lower (If you can turn it down higher, check your remote control)

Learning English is more preferable to studying Latin (Use preferable only - it already means more)

The resolution was unanimously passed by everyone (That's what unanimous means - it would not be unanimous without the support of everyone)

He's brilliant at predicting the football results in advance (He's useless at predicting them backwards? Get rid of in advance)


People care only about the outcome of the results (outcome=results -- remove one of them)

He is equally as bad at essay-writing as he is at breakdancing (as bad...as; no need for equally)

You can't fool all of the people all of the time (see all of - but you can probably do without the of in both cases)

Sometime we may even find three expressions vying to do the one job:

Both Pietro and Maria share a hatred of grammar in common (If it's in common, then, sure, they share it and they both have it. Write P & Maria have a hatred of grammar in common or Both P & M hate grammar or P&M share a hatred of grammar).

Sometimes students deliberately introduce a tautology - a repetition of a concept  -  for the sake of emphasis or "style", e.g.  each and every; if and when; in any shape or form; unless and until;  save and except; of any sort or kind. 

Don't.

Compared with, compared to

Two things need saying here.

The first, and by far the most important, is that we do not use either compared to or compared with in a comparative phrase. We use than.

He is bigger than me (not compared with me)

He is more honest than his colleagues (not compared with his colleagues)

I have nicer freckles than you (not compared with you).


If you are using a comparative (-er or more - ) use than. Nothing else will do. Do not be fooled by the apparent complexity of a sentence: it is still than.

We were on average considerably better-off  in 1975 in terms of purchasing power in the housing market than we are now in 2015, in spite of the illusion of material wealth. 

Although Marco was happier, more fulfilled and generally better-disposed (as a result of his gentle upbringing and God-given sweet nature)  than his schoolmates, he was still shy boy. 


The second is that compared with and compared to are both acceptable, but they do not mean the same thing.

He compared me to Mozart (Hey, your music reminds me of Mozart; you're really good).

He compared me with Mozart (Hey, at your age, Mozart had already written 14 masses and 30 symphonies. What have you done with your life, you loser?)


Use compared with  if in doubt.

As regards

As regards is fine, but it is often not needed.

As regards the impact of the studies on the medical profession, the effect was almost nil.

That is a good example of a bad sentence. Having started off with As regards to introduce the subject (the impact), when you come to the subject immediately again, you feel compelled to change the word to effect. Otherwise you would end up writing,  As regards the impact of the studies on the medical profession, the impact was almost nil, which sounds silly.

And it is silly, because you did not need As regards in the first place. Just write, The impact/effect of the studies on the medical profession was almost nil.

Apples and oranges

The smug and overweening  corporate ethos of Apple  is repugnant, and Steve Jobs was a ghastly man. Which is a way of saying I use Microsoft Windows (Bill Gates turned out all right in the end).  If you use an Apple without Microsoft Word, please be aware that the attachments you send may not be readable. To send a text document to us moral dinosaurs who insist on Windows, you need to use the send option from within the document itself. That is to say, do not close the document and attach it, but rather  go to “send”  on the menu bar in your Pages document, choose the “Word” option (not PDF) and then insert the address.  File menu-->Export-->Word.

Apple apparently has a “send Windows friendly attachment” option somewhere, but I don’t use Apple, so I can’t tell you where it is. But the method above works.